7.12.09

page 183


Everything has gone terribly wrong. I can't think straight or focus, not enough even to write the thoughts down right. There's no order.
Auroran. He's shut me out.
No whispered conversation in my head, no arms actually willing to hug me.
I can't go back to the loft; all I do is think about him, and then I think of Procrastin, too. All he's done is yell at me. He doesn't care about what actually happened, only his version of events. Fuck him. Fuck the rat-ear bitch. Fuck Auroran.
We're all fighting amongst each other and Auroran walked away.
Ley means more to him than me. Everyone is worth more to him than me. What am I?
Where's the family I was beginning to think I had? We're nothing but heckling hyenas picking at each other. And I'm the runt hoping for scraps.
I am going to kill that elf who started this entire mess. Maybe then things will go back to normal. I will finish the job and rip out the rest of his throat. He's taking my family from me.
Every time I feel like I take a step forward with him, with Procrastin, and feel safe, content.
I slide three steps back and fall on my ass.
There's no one to pick me up when I fall.
I need a drink.

No comments:

Post a Comment